It has been said that often the heart must break in order to open and that our suffering
has been the fertile ground upon which our compassion has grown and our heart has
When we withdraw from the world owing to a painful experience or relationships from
our past, be that a romantic relationship or our childhood relationships to our
family of origin, others often perceive us as acting from a broken heart. However,
when we look more closely, it is not that the heart is broken; it is that we have
built a wall around it to keep others out and perhaps to numb ourselves from the
pain of separation – not necessarily separation from people, but separation from
the love we once knew.
As we approach healing the hurt of our past we must call upon courage to dare let
down the walls, even for just a moment, for in that moment there is silence, and
in that silence the truth of love can be present. In Family Constellation work
we often used healing sentences to bring us to that place of silence, which can
be profound. The words themselves merely point towards the truth, for truth always
resides in the silence, in the stillness of connection to self and other.
A picture paints a thousand words as the living dynamic of a Family Constellation
comes to life the picture is able to silently inform us of a greater, deeper and
more profound truth that is beyond all of the words of the stories we have told
about our mother, father, siblings, former spouse or even the stories we have told
about ourselves. As we have the courage to step beyond the stories we have so clung
to and the self image they produce, we can be witness to the all pervasive love
that binds all human relationships. When this is witnessed and experience we again
call upon the courage to dissolve the walls we have been living behind and allow
our heart to break open.
We walk away with a radiantly broken heart. No words, the truth of who we are residing
in the silence.