Love nurtures even a blade of grass to become its potential, it is the very underpinning of the Universe as we know it. We have grown afraid of love whilst at the same time we have romanticized its nature and have invested much of our hope in finding that one person who will fulfil all of our needs and the longing of our heart.
This invariably becomes dissatisfying over time for merging beyond bonding is not possible. The merging we truly long for is the dissolution of the separation we have experienced from our essential self which took place many aeons ago, long before incarnation in this particular body.
The separation that has taken place is the alienation from love, our own true nature. The existence of our world is for one purpose and one purpose only, to infuse physical matter with the same knowledge of self and the realization of love that has been possible in the many other worlds our soul has participated in.
Our longing exists not just as a seed in the heart, but also as a deep memory. We have always known that it could be different. Do you remember? Do you remember knowing that? Do you recall knowing that things could be different? Do you recall that it was once different but it seems that you can no longer remember? It is as if the memory of it is a word on the tip of your tongue.
We can feel it, we can sense it but we can’t quite remember it fully. This process of remembering the existence of love and ourselves as being one and the same and inseparable from it, requires our willingness to tell the truth for it is everything we have constructed in defence of our vulnerability that creates and sustains the veils of illusion that both surround and suffocate us.
Love is an invitation. It does not push, neither does it pull. It invites. Gently. Therefore this process of telling the truth is simply a process of surrendering to what is in the moment. It is recognising the love that still exists between two people even though they may have gone their separate ways and even though betrayal, abuse or violence may have taken place.
The way of the heart is about recognizing that all love, once felt, never disappears, it simply becomes hidden from view. The way of the heart is having the courage to acknowledge to ourselves that what we truly seek is the remembrance of that which seemingly disappeared onto the other side of separation and appears to be no longer reachable.
The way of the heart is having the courage to risk everything in order to reclaim, regain and revive the exquisite innocence we have all known. The way of the heart is about recognizing the human potential and capacity to overcome any amount of suffering and darkness in order to re-emerge as whole again and that no amount of facing the truth will result in us losing anything but the stories we have constructed and the inauthenticity that goes along with them.
When the heart speaks it does not cling to opinions for the undefended heart sees only what is in the moment. It does not judge, neither does it calculate, it simply invites the truth in all of its dignity to be silently present.
When we become devoted to the heart our focus is on our longing to know the truth of who we are in every moment, which in turn invites the truth of another to be present. As we become accustomed to bathing in simple truths, without grasping onto stories, opinions and demands, what becomes more important than being right about something is preserving the flow of love that exists between us and the other.
This can only be achieved and experienced once we start to willingly peel back the layers of defence, illusions and stories we’ve told ourselves about who we fear we might be. The way of the heart leads us directly into ourselves, it cannot lead us anywhere else for truth starts with the Self and is expressed as the Self. Therefore, when we get caught up in the idea that living from the heart is all about being polite, kind and nice to people we have yet again floundered and have fallen upon an image of what it is to be good.
When we surrender our very own heart to itself and become willing to know the truth of our existence we become increasingly undefended. As this undefended state flourishes, acts of kindness, gentleness and generosity become a natural part of who we are rather than a set of behaviours we have deemed good to mimic.
The heart cannot help but love, it cannot help but want to embrace everything it sees with its affection so when we surrender the layers of lies we’ve both been told and have told ourselves, the true beauty and magnificence of the heart can be expressed. Wisdom is the voice of the heart, love is its expression and beauty is its manifestation.
As we surrender to all of our parts, the good, the bad and the very ugly we give our heart the opportunity to be exposed. Hatred, greed, jealousy, envy, avarice, judgement and resentment all have doorways into love from within their depths.
The way of the heart is dedicated to truth no matter what. It does not grab onto shiny objects as they float by, but rather it sits at the bottom of a pit until its own natural light illuminates all that must be destroyed in the fire of truth, the fire of Shiva.
A life led doing good can easily turn into a life of deceptively and subtly doing bad to others, especially to those we deem not to be good, when we do not allow the deepest cut of separation to be exposed. It is only through exposing the deepest cuts of separation that we can ever be free from childhood patterns and the idea that somehow we are either not good or are simply bad.
Until the deepest cut is exposed we may live life feeling as if we are a fraud. We may be gentle and kind, we may be reasonable, patient, even loving, and yet lurking underneath what appears to be so beautiful is a measure of self-hatred that is yet to be resolved.
As the years turn into decades the yet unresolved self-hatred turns our kindness and gentleness into persistent giving that eventually exhausts us, leaving us dissatisfied with life, with love and with relationships. Our fear of facing the deepest cut has kept the self-hatred intact under all of the layers that look good from the outside. However, the heavy price that is being paid is our inability to let much or anything in.
Beneath the deepest cut is the truth of who we are, it is our light, it is our authentic self that does not and cannot ignore the existence of love and God in all things. This essential self is the breath of God and is also breathed by God.
As we surrender to this essential self our life becomes an expression of the universal breath – we have natural ebb and flow. We are able to give freely, as easy as it is to release our next breath, and we are also able to receive freely, just like taking our next breath.
Life’s natural rhythm is one of activity and rest, sun up, sun down, giving and receiving. When we avoid the deep pit in our belly that screams of separation we can end up simply taking and taking and taking, for nothing, no matter how shiny, how glitzy, no matter the amount, will never and can never be enough until the cut of separation is resolved.
Taking is not receiving. Taking is an attempt to stuff into the void that is the cut, anything that will give us temporary relief from its nagging presence. We are so motivated to avoid the cut of separation at all costs that we will entertain almost anything, no matter how destructive, self-deceptive or temporary in order not to feel it.
We can line our pockets with money, with relationships, sex, perfectionism, status, titles, addictions, being busy, enslavement to a job or a career, religion, spiritual practice, meditation and all manner of things in the hope of feeling complete and at peace with ourselves.
However, taking the first step on the way of the heart is acknowledging the truth that everything we have tried, to date, has not delivered lasting happiness. It takes courage to see that although we may be mature in our personal process and we may have resolved many relationship issues and issues of self-worth, there is still this nagging, stalking and persistent presence that tells us we are not whole.
We may be very accustomed to expressing deeper feelings, and may even be courageous enough to look at our shadow, however, the simplest of truths are more threatening to our notion of existence than the story of our life we have taken into therapy, healing and to teachers.
The way of the heart places wanting to liberate ourselves, through experiencing the truth of our existence, above all other considerations. Until we are ready we will cling to that which makes us suffer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that for everything has its day, its time and its season.
Most of us can only metabolize truth in measured doses. Some of us can digest bigger pieces at a time, and others need to spend time, perhaps years, nibbling around the edges of truth before taking a really good bite. The way of the heart is not going to force you.
However, truth is ruthless. Once it is revealed it takes a lot of energy to try and stuff it back down again. Truth eventually wins because the pain of keeping our heart shackled once it has been released for a moment, is simply too much.
The way of heart is not a new dogma, it is not a new technique or even a new spiritual insight that must be followed. It is a calling, in fact it is your very own heart calling you. Our heart longs to be free and this call to freedom is always there no matter when you choose to heed its call and respond to your dear friend, your very own heart.
There is no measurement, no assessment, there is only deep listening. The deeper we listen we can hear love’s voice reach us from the depths of silence. As we listen we can hear love’s voice call to us in the sound of birds, in the rustling leaves of majestic trees, in the smile and glinting eyes of a young child, in the wind that whips around a magnificent mountain.
Love’s voice is everywhere and when we listen deeply within the stillness that is our heart, we can hear its beckoning and its invitation. The deeper we listen the more profound this silent voice becomes, so much so that we cannot resist but to speak of it.
One day, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week or next year we will allow ourselves to acknowledge that what we want more than anything is to love freely as we once did, to taste the sweet nectar of innocence, leaving all fear behind us so that we may luxuriate in the wealth of our very own heart. As we allow this we come to realize that everything we’ve ever wanted is as close as our own heart.
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© Shavasti, 2015
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Published in 2015 by Findhorn Press, Scotland
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