Healing the hurt In the natural order of things, love flows freely from one generation to the next – from grandparents to parents to children. However, life’s events, especially trauma, often cause us to lose parts of our own essence, our ability to love freely. Each generation has been touched by events such as wars, […]
Shadows from the Past During my recent travels have spent time in both Thailand and Cambodia. Both countries share the same Buddhist tradition, related languages and similar cultures – but this is where the similarity stops. Unlike Thailand, Cambodia is a deeply traumatised nation and finds itself still in recovery from the infamous ‘Killing Fields’
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If I have the courage Very often in our work together we will employ what has been called ‘healing sentences’ that come forward from the family soul. These words, the language of the soul’, really do emerge from the silence, form the ‘not knowing’ into the clarity of the knowing. When the mind tries to
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The Silence Terrifies Me No matter all the words spoken, no matter the eloquence of the written word, the prose, wise and insightful soliloquy – the truth always resides in the silence. For it is in the silence that both our wound and love can be felt and experienced. Our mind loves to rationalise, tell
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The Courage to be happy The power of family bonds and ties cannot be overestimated, for their power is far reaching, often spanning many generations. I’ve written on this topic of having the courage to be happy many times before and I do so as none of us can really overestimate the power of
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Fear is Always the Enemy If fear had no part in your life on any level, what would your life look like? Would be finally start that business you’ve always wanted to start? Would you tell someone that you love them? Would you leave a relationship? Move to a different country? Be more sociable? Be
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The End of Suffering There appears to be little that any of us won’t do in order to avoid suffering or feeling our own pain. Most of us will exclaim ‘I want to be happy!’ and yet that very happiness teeters on the foundation of unresolved pain and suffering. When we stop avoiding the suffering
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Often as we move through life we try to cling to permanence even though the experience of countless generations tells each and every one of us in each moment that there is nothing that is permanent. Parents die, children die, lovers, husbands, wives, friends and beloved pets die, ideas and thoughts die, plants, trees, even
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In working with several thousand family systems, Bert Hellinger has uncovered what he describes as the age-old Orders of Love, which are deeply embedded in the unconscious of family groups. This forgotten knowledge, rediscovered and refurbished, is so compelling that it can change people’s lives. Disturbances to the Orders of Love in previous generations will
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It has been said that often the heart must break in order to open and that our suffering has been the fertile ground upon which our compassion has grown and our heart has blossomed.
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